⚪️🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣⚫️ NEW DIRECTION   Ed. No. 121 - A FAILURE BIGGER THAN BEN HUR

CRASH

GIF: CRASH - Chariot crash from BEN HUR (2016)  /  GIF: Giphy

IF WE ONLY HAD

THE COURAGE TO SAY NO

"I rarely talk about the biggest failure of my life because even though it was something that happened thirty six years ago it still hurts. Unfortunately it set the pattern for much of the rest of my life up until now. I can think of a hand full of failures where the hurt has stuck in my life but one failure stands above all. When you hear about this failure some may think “what’s the problem?”. But it was very real and very painful.

My failure certainly cured me of my perfectionist paranoia. Something I inherited from my Mother who at this latter stage of her life is really suffering the influencing effects of the same malady.

A good lady my Mother and I wouldn’t consider myself a “bad” person either but perfectionism is a curse. My punch in the guts cured me but my Mother only now is experiencing what she hasn’t faced previously. It is truly egregious to recognise and identify with what she is going through.

We can all try to do our best. Nothing wrong with that. This should be encouraged. But when nothing reaches our own impossibly high standards then life starts to suck. You don’t feel anything and you become a prisoner of your own created ego aspirations.

My failure had to do with volunteering to help with something when in actuality I didn’t really feel that I wanted to help. In my ignorance, immaturity and “niceness” I wanted to be liked. Not the best of motivations to volunteer for anything. I didn’t want to say no, in fact couldn’t say NO. It’s a simple word but I see now I simply didn’t have the backbone to say it.

I found out in the most humiliating way possible that I was totally out of my depth.

I was burnt to a crisp in the failure. Total and absolute humiliation and immolation. 

Failure certainly teaches you something about pride and humility.

I was shown up to be totally inadequate in the midst of something that meant pretty much everything to me. And that is my own sense of self. I wasn’t as good as I thought I was!

We’re talking about identity here. 

It is the most profound subject that exists.

Let me venture the opinion that is why there is so much baulking/protesting/anger/fear and unhappiness presently. Some are even making themselves become quite sick. I believe nature* is MAKING us change towards sustainable living at a foundational level and yet we are holding on and wanting to be acknowledged for what we feel we are entitled. We want to be who we “think” we are (wannabes) rather than accepting the value of what we are already. 

It sounds almost nonsensical but that is the plain unvarnished truth.

I see the pain and unhappiness on peoples faces through all of those well honed masks we all wear.

You are entitled to nothing more than accepting and enjoying as much as you can the life you have been gifted. Be grateful for that. We are such a bunch of ingrates. It is also a truth that humans have lost touch with appreciating the value of a single breath.

I was left a shell of myself for a solid ten year period and I still suffer from this failure in life. Some would say just forgive yourself and move on. My friends that is a whole lot easier said than done.

I got so burnt with the failure at that time that mostly these days I just say NO...NO NO NO.

A friend quite correctly observed to me the other day that I deny myself the opportunities that come along. But you can only get burnt so much.

I’ve said before that these blogs I write are for my benefit but if even one person benefits from not falling into the same self snaring trap as I did well and good.

The chatterbox, blather and barfing of your mind is not your friend but like it or not the homework needs to happen on the inside to bring about a reconciliation within the self. 

A whole needs to be made of the halves. It’s hard yakka.

The wars and discord we can observe on the outside are only a reflection of what we can’t or won’t take in hand on the inside…individually.

The challenge of our time (as if it has ever been any different) is... 

RECONNECTION to our world environment, each other but most importantly to ourselves. 

Protesting on the outside is only feeding the darkness within us all.

Turn the energy around and invest in YOO.

BE EPIC. Get in the chariot with Ben Hur. He won in the long run." - Neville

* Or is it that the emptiness brought about by our own manufactured separation from ourselves 

    creates its own correction? Isn't Nature’s job to put everything back in its rightful place and create balance?

ADDENDUM

The system that is now in place is there to preserve itself.

And its not doing a very good job on any level.

You keep saying yes to what you know to be BS then don't be surprised 

when one day you wake up completed used up, fed up and burnt out. 

Totally raped by those who have chosen to live in their mind manufactured dark fantasy.

What's worse is too many are actually becoming a total victim of our own selves and not even realising it. 

I should know as that is just what I have been talking about here. 

Bottom line is you are responsible for YOO.

footnote

Be very careful before you choose to say YES or you choose to say NO. 

The world is in a very unforgiving bind of knots at present.

Our world citizenry doesn't know whether we are Arthur or Martha.

We've lost sight of the value of ourselves.

Dig for the deeper walk.

______________________________

 

NEXT TIME

A success bigger than Ben Hur.

• 

Celebrate life!

_________________

 

What is your vision for YOO?

👋 Celebrate yoo! 

 

⚪️🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣⚫️